Wanted: More Time

I mean really though, don't we all feel this way at this day and age? Remember when we used to be able to have read every book we owned or heard each CD we bought once or twice. Maybe it's content overload or just being easily distracted, I would say it is quite possibly both. I know for sure though that given all the things I am doing these days I am finding myself looking for more time to do it all. I am all ears on any advice on the topic though, so please let me know how I can manage or tips and tricks to handle it all. 

Though I will be the first to admit, I am a consumer. And that probably needs to stop, and only I can truly take care of that situation. But sometimes you try to do something while listening to a podcasts and it gets really good and you stop to pay attention. Does that ever happen to any of you? And what about reading, I want to read more but the only time I get is on my way to work and sometimes I sketch or if I am really drained I will play some video games on my PSP, currently playing Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection. Though I think I am going to leave it behind this week, kind of force myself to read even more. I am trying to do 52 books by the end of the year, so will see how I do. I think making a list here will keep me honest and I can share my progress...or lack there of. 

It probably doesn't help being surrounded by thousands and thousands of Magic cards. I tell you, it is one of the worst and best games ever made. If you have never played, don't start. If you do play it...is it the best?! (I am the human Paradox Engine)

The things I need to do though, for context:

-Get 7-8 hours of sleep every night.
-Wake up everyday at 6:30 AM to get started on the day.
-Make sure my room is clean and tidy.
-Make sure the rest of the house is clean and tidy.
-Posts content on different social media feeds.
-Eat right and on schedule.
-Stay fresh and cleaned up.
-Go to work, I have to leave with roughly two hours for the commute.
-Work for roughly nine hours, sometimes more or sometimes less.
-Back home on the two hour commute.
-Get home, eat some dinner.
-Go to bed at a decent hour and do it all again until the weekend.

Which the weekend can be anything, I don't ever really know what to expect, but I try to do as many things as I possibly can, see people I want to see or perhaps go out for dinner or something. But looking at this now, I can see why I feel short changed for time. Hmm? Well I am going to have to change this up, some way some how.

Artificial Sunlight...

So I want to write an update on my mental health, which I feel is important to do on a day to day or at least a week to week basis. Trust me on this, doing a blog or a vlog to stay in check with yourself is one of the many ways to stay on top. I look at my own demons, my own depression, as a constant and never ending fight, I feel like it's something that will never "go away" so I am not going to bother with that idea. That being said I will constantly do my best to beat this and control it, not let it control me and dictate my head space. So I just wanted to talk a few points, for you friends and for future me if I ever get lost.

So I guess the first thing to talk about is the passing of Linkin Park's front man Chester Bennington. I think a lot of us can relate when I say that LP was our language when we were teens, and granted my music choices have changed over the years and I didn't really hear a lot of their new albums and projects in recent years. But when I tell you Hybrid Theory, Meteora, Reanimation and slightly even though my big brother, Fern swears that it was the worst thing ever, Minutes to Midnight. His death is absolutely tragic, especially considering the family and loved ones he leaves behind, and the many of us who grew up with his voice as ours. Yeah, it was angst but when you are a teen, your confused, pissed and lost in the worst kind of way. I hope Chester finds peace and love in the next world. To everyone one of us who has dealt with suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety or any kind of mental health troubles; now as always we need to take care of one and other, fight as one. 

So if I had to make a suggestions on the best Linkin Park songs, I would say to check out this Spotify playlist I made just for the occasion, here. My personal favourite might be Numb. I always felt a certain pressure growing up to live up to expectations from my old man that I felt I could never do, feeling like a disappointment most of the times. I know now, that what my dad wants most from me is to be a hard working and honest man, everything else is second to that. And yeah, every single day I do my best to be the best me I can be. 

These days have been weird for me, work is there but lately been feeling underwhelmed, if that makes sense. I just want more, the hours this summer have been abysmal at best, so I am in desperate need of more hours and money. But just more from my day to day job as well. Some say I need to be patient, I am still in school for this very reason, to get a degree and get a better job. But I still feel like I can do better. I don't want to seem ungrateful for my current job at Starbucks, the company does a lot of good for it's employees, but I think I just need more. So I think as soon as I get back I will be looking into another part time job, split the time between the jobs and by the new year part ways with the company. I will always remember the experience, and Brewgatory will be there for me to tell many and many of not only my stories but the the stories of the many incredible people I've had the chance to work with. 

Well that's all the time for today, I have to save my thoughts for tomorrow as well. I've also been meaning to try and update my Magic: The Gathering blog, but I find it rather difficult to place thoughts into words when comes to MTG, hell I have a hard time finalising a lot of my Commander decks, how I am going to write about them? But I want to hear back from you reader, what are your favourite Linkin Park tracks? How are you doing these days? Leave a comment below and let's start a conversation here. Thanks again for the read and until then, keep chasing the storm! 

Back to the South...

A lot can come and go in a decade. Presidents and parties change power in a country, sports dynasty are made and conquered and technology can look radically different from the start to the finish of these ten years. So needless to say, it's going to be quite the experience when I return to Chile for a few weeks this August. It's been over ten years since I last set foot in South America, and I know I have a lot of reconnecting to do. I am a born Canadian, but I am also a Chilean at heart. My culture and my history is rooted deeply to Chile and all my family there, my last grandparents and my massive expansive Cruz side of the family. I will only have two weeks to make the most of the time there and take back home the knowledge and power that comes with being a Latino in North America. 

I am feeling pretty damn nervous though, not to mention thinking about all the things and projects I am currently working on and trying my best to finish as soon as possible. Not to mention, being away from work is going to place a dent in my wallet, so there is also that to be worried about. A vacation is nice, but it's hard to forget about all the responsibilities that need to be taken care of back home. Lately I find it hard to focus on today, always thinking about tomorrow and the future. I know as soon as I get back from Chile I am going to be focusing on a few goals...

• Finding more or new work.
• Working out every single day.
• Finishing up every single art project.
• Take care of the ChileanStorm brand.
• Getting ready for my trip to Japan.

I want to post these here, mostly for me to see them and to be held accountable if I f*ck this up and lose my place on the path in life. I am also placing this here to show you that I have my goals and you have yours as well, and you can do everything you set yourself out to do. If you need support and encouragement, know that I am rooting for you. It's not going to be easy, actually it's going to be extremely difficult. But if I can do it, so can you. 

YOU CAN DO IT!

So I am off to get ready for my Chile trip, I will be planning different locations that I am going to want to see while I am there, although I think I will mostly be in Santiago for most of the time. But if you've got any suggestion for where to go and what to see, by all means let me know in the comments below. As well as what are your goals in the future, what challenges will you be facing? Just want to let you know, you are not alone in this adventure. We can do this! Until then, keep chasing the Storm! 

I Am Retro

I think one day, we will all get to a point in our lives where everything we love will in one way or another become, retro. That is of course the nice way of saying old, the problem with old we associate to fragile, weak and ultimately death. But if Pokemon is the proof of anything it is that some old things never truly die. And now I am at that point in my life, I feel like I am looking back on any memories I can muster, and oddly enough scatter through my fandoms are precious memories of my younger years. I can tell you my first issue of Daredevil I ever bought in a dollar bin or the first Nintendo 64 game that me and my brother purchased on Boxing Day. It seems like a small moment in the massive ocean that is the galaxy of our own existence, but every tiny cell matters. And I think I am getting way better with my memory and if that is thanks to these kind of moments, I am not going to take that for granted at all. 

This past weekend, I turned 30. Welcome to retro,

I wanted to take the time to say thank you, to everyone who made not only this weekend an incredible time but to everyone who was there for me in some way or another. The truth is I wouldn't be who I am without all of you who have touched my life in some way or another.

To my family, everyone in Canada and Chile, you have all always been with me. To my mother, my greatest hero, the strongest person I know. A women who defined herself through love, compassion and kindness. If I can be half of what you are today, I know I've lived a good life. To my father, I missed you so much and these years getting to know each other have been absolutely wonderful. I hope to share more memories with you soon. To my sister, thank you for inspiring my creative mind from a young age, you are so damn talented and creative, you don't need anyone to approve of your talents. Keep creating beautiful art sis. To my brother, you know how much love you, I hated being away from you when we were kids and some days it's hard being oceans apart. But the fact is you have gone where you said you wanted to go, spoken the language you were never meant to speak. Nothing is impossible for you Fernando, and I wish I can show you what I am capable of as well. To my Grandparents as well in Chile, the humble little farm of Maipo, that safe place from my childhood. I know my Grandmother is always thinking about us, having all of us in her prayers and keeping us safe. To my Grandfather, such a kind and strong man, my role model growing up. I will be coming back to see you guys soon. To my uncles and aunts, cousins and nephews as well, I love you guys and not a day goes by where I don't think about you guys as well. And as well to family friends and partners to my parents, thank you for everything you have done for me, I wish I was a better kid some days but I am going to make sure I am a better man today. 

My dream come true...

Caitlin, my beautiful girlfriend. It's only been a year but it has been a wonderful year together, one that I will never forget. You are such a strong and independent women, as smart as you are absolutely talented at all the things you do from dance to guitar and songwriting. You inspire me every single day, to do as much as I can and more every single day. A kind spirit who knows how to love every single creature on this planet. And quick thank you to all the wonderful people I got to meet this year through you, family and friends who confirm to me all the incredible things that you are. And a big thank you to Bella Mae, yes she is a dog but doesn't make her love and energy any less. 

This is Bella, my "Woof Muffin".

My friends, my wonderful incredible strange family. From different times and places, all of you who keep me in your hearts, I can't thank you enough and you haven't seen the best of what I can do yet, so keep watching. But I did want to mention a few names for sure as well, those who have stayed close to me over these years. My roommate and brother, Toby. You are the best dude, the Rocket to my Groot or the Flounder to my Ariel. You've had to endure a lot of my silliness over the years but at the end of the day you've got a big heart inside. You are going to do some great things in this life, you hardworking little dude. To my big brothers, Aaron and Vince and as well as many incredible artist that I have the privilege to call friends; Paul, Kev, Shane, Hugh, Dave, etc. There is a lot but you guys know who you are and you know I love y'all. I wouldn't be half the artist that I am today if it wasn't for your guidance and friendship. Seeing my fellow artist create everyday keeps me inspired as well and makes me want to create more and more. To my fellow brothers, George, Drew and Steve. You guys are the absolute best, it's been an incredible journey so far and I can't wait to see where we all go from here. 

Yes there are many of you in my life and even if I didn't mention you personally, know that I love you and everything you've done for me. 

So yes, this is a big thank you blog, but if I have learned anything in my life it is that we need to be thankful for all of life's little moments and the beautiful people who make the world what it is today. I have seen my fare share of things in my life so far, and yet so little, this world is waiting to be explored. And so I just want to close with a last thank you to you, the reader. I hope you enjoyed this and past posts as well and keep coming back. Until then, keep chasing the storm.

Try Hard Die Hard

I am just going to open up with saying that Bruce Willis will not be the topic of today's blog. Although I think we can all agree that the first three Die Hard films were pretty awesome action movies, worth watching if you haven't seen them yet. No, today I wanted to ask you to think about this, what does winning mean to you? And I am asking on every possible level, how badly do you need to be the very best...like no one ever was. And yes, that was a Pokemon reference. But I want to talk today about our desire to win, to be champions and to be the best at everything. And I think most geeks experience this on a daily basis. How many achievements do you have? Did you catch them all? Did you win that tournament? What rank are you? What level is your team? But you get the idea. We aren't allowed to enjoy things anymore. No, we have to win. I guess I want to understand the theory of the carrot, why does it have to be involved with everything we do now in days...? 

Take it from me, time is short. Every day we only have so many hours to do whatever it is we want to do and well everything that we need to do as well, be that work or school or family. And then consider all the things you do because you want to do them, like playing your favorite online computer game or going to the local card shop for a game of Commander Magic. When you are done, are you satisfied at all? Well you should be, win or lose. But holy dead Jason Todd to we have people that really want to win and completely ruin the experience. Maybe this is me realizing that family, friends, partner and career are much more important than a weekly Friday Night Magic result or trying to collect every single Pokemon. I am not going to be a League of Legends champion anytime soon, and that is totally awesome. I think what I am trying to say here is, let's try to enjoy the experience. If we all try to be champions, this world is going to be filled with a whole lot of salt and resentments. Who cares about completing every single game achievement on your Xbox One, will you be awarded a purple heart and have a parade? Probably not. All these imaginary brass rings are presented to distract you from the bigger picture, that is you, What are you going to be in this world? 

That being said, if you truly feel and know that your goal is to be a champion in some video game or card game, all power to you. I mean Adam Copeland (WWE`s Edge) always wanted to be a WWE Champion and he did it. You focus on your goals, you give everything you have and you become the person that you know you are. But if like me you are an artist or a writer or anyone who isn`t making a living off gaming tournaments, try this and just don`t give a f*ck. Enjoy the time off and the hobby itself. Aim to win, but aim to have a great time and remember why you love whatever it is you love. It`s okay to lose, just don`t lose human dignity in your climb to the top of the mountain. I have seen Rock Paper Scissors tournaments, don`t mess with them tossers. 

Keep chasing the storm.