Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Artificial Sunlight...

So I want to write an update on my mental health, which I feel is important to do on a day to day or at least a week to week basis. Trust me on this, doing a blog or a vlog to stay in check with yourself is one of the many ways to stay on top. I look at my own demons, my own depression, as a constant and never ending fight, I feel like it's something that will never "go away" so I am not going to bother with that idea. That being said I will constantly do my best to beat this and control it, not let it control me and dictate my head space. So I just wanted to talk a few points, for you friends and for future me if I ever get lost.

So I guess the first thing to talk about is the passing of Linkin Park's front man Chester Bennington. I think a lot of us can relate when I say that LP was our language when we were teens, and granted my music choices have changed over the years and I didn't really hear a lot of their new albums and projects in recent years. But when I tell you Hybrid Theory, Meteora, Reanimation and slightly even though my big brother, Fern swears that it was the worst thing ever, Minutes to Midnight. His death is absolutely tragic, especially considering the family and loved ones he leaves behind, and the many of us who grew up with his voice as ours. Yeah, it was angst but when you are a teen, your confused, pissed and lost in the worst kind of way. I hope Chester finds peace and love in the next world. To everyone one of us who has dealt with suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety or any kind of mental health troubles; now as always we need to take care of one and other, fight as one. 

So if I had to make a suggestions on the best Linkin Park songs, I would say to check out this Spotify playlist I made just for the occasion, here. My personal favourite might be Numb. I always felt a certain pressure growing up to live up to expectations from my old man that I felt I could never do, feeling like a disappointment most of the times. I know now, that what my dad wants most from me is to be a hard working and honest man, everything else is second to that. And yeah, every single day I do my best to be the best me I can be. 

These days have been weird for me, work is there but lately been feeling underwhelmed, if that makes sense. I just want more, the hours this summer have been abysmal at best, so I am in desperate need of more hours and money. But just more from my day to day job as well. Some say I need to be patient, I am still in school for this very reason, to get a degree and get a better job. But I still feel like I can do better. I don't want to seem ungrateful for my current job at Starbucks, the company does a lot of good for it's employees, but I think I just need more. So I think as soon as I get back I will be looking into another part time job, split the time between the jobs and by the new year part ways with the company. I will always remember the experience, and Brewgatory will be there for me to tell many and many of not only my stories but the the stories of the many incredible people I've had the chance to work with. 

Well that's all the time for today, I have to save my thoughts for tomorrow as well. I've also been meaning to try and update my Magic: The Gathering blog, but I find it rather difficult to place thoughts into words when comes to MTG, hell I have a hard time finalising a lot of my Commander decks, how I am going to write about them? But I want to hear back from you reader, what are your favourite Linkin Park tracks? How are you doing these days? Leave a comment below and let's start a conversation here. Thanks again for the read and until then, keep chasing the storm!