Wanted: More Time

I mean really though, don't we all feel this way at this day and age? Remember when we used to be able to have read every book we owned or heard each CD we bought once or twice. Maybe it's content overload or just being easily distracted, I would say it is quite possibly both. I know for sure though that given all the things I am doing these days I am finding myself looking for more time to do it all. I am all ears on any advice on the topic though, so please let me know how I can manage or tips and tricks to handle it all. 

Though I will be the first to admit, I am a consumer. And that probably needs to stop, and only I can truly take care of that situation. But sometimes you try to do something while listening to a podcasts and it gets really good and you stop to pay attention. Does that ever happen to any of you? And what about reading, I want to read more but the only time I get is on my way to work and sometimes I sketch or if I am really drained I will play some video games on my PSP, currently playing Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection. Though I think I am going to leave it behind this week, kind of force myself to read even more. I am trying to do 52 books by the end of the year, so will see how I do. I think making a list here will keep me honest and I can share my progress...or lack there of. 

It probably doesn't help being surrounded by thousands and thousands of Magic cards. I tell you, it is one of the worst and best games ever made. If you have never played, don't start. If you do play it...is it the best?! (I am the human Paradox Engine)

The things I need to do though, for context:

-Get 7-8 hours of sleep every night.
-Wake up everyday at 6:30 AM to get started on the day.
-Make sure my room is clean and tidy.
-Make sure the rest of the house is clean and tidy.
-Posts content on different social media feeds.
-Eat right and on schedule.
-Stay fresh and cleaned up.
-Go to work, I have to leave with roughly two hours for the commute.
-Work for roughly nine hours, sometimes more or sometimes less.
-Back home on the two hour commute.
-Get home, eat some dinner.
-Go to bed at a decent hour and do it all again until the weekend.

Which the weekend can be anything, I don't ever really know what to expect, but I try to do as many things as I possibly can, see people I want to see or perhaps go out for dinner or something. But looking at this now, I can see why I feel short changed for time. Hmm? Well I am going to have to change this up, some way some how.

Thoughts on a Train: Self

Who are you?

It is such a simple yet complex question when you really think about it. And this separates champions and challengers, the champions are the ones who walked into the labyrinth of self and emerged victorious.

But perhaps also there are challengers who stepped in and got lost. Still lost and trying to find the answers.

I was thinking about this last night, identity. Are we who we think we are or the sum of others? What happens when those two are different answer; maybe you aren’t as kind as you think you are or maybe you dislike social interactions and you come off as cold.

But how would you define yourself?

I want to know what is my core and rewire myself to be better. I think that has always been a staple in my own narrative, to be better.

My art has to be better.

Physically I need to be better.

Mentally. Educated. Manners. Rituals. I have to be better.

Is this the evolution of self loathing or just a mask?

But what do you think friends? I would love to hear some thoughts and takes on this dilemma. I am going to continue to work hard each day to improve in every way I can.

Stop Running...

What are you running from?

Who are you running from? 

Is this considered running or hiding? Does it even matter? 

Just thinking out loud. Figured I needed to get back into writing and this is the only way that makes any sense to me. But bare in mind, nothing really ever makes sense, not in my head. I am getting annoyed at myself, a lot more so these days than usual. The idea machine, that is what I have become and it is absolutely useless because I haven't been able to take any action on my ideas. I keep making more and more and more; but with no execution. And that is on me. I could blame the world around me, the systems that look to control our actions and behaviors more and more each day or I can just be honest, look at myself in the mirror. I did this by not doing.

Am I distracted? Disjointed? Derailed? 

I don't know for sure, I actually think the answer is all three. But also the solution is right here as well. I need to write more, I need to write everyday. Easier said than done, I know this because I have tried and failed. But I owe this to my good friend and brother, Jake. Man comes to visit from BC and completely fixes my computer tower back to life. Poor old thing was on the brink of death and was way overdue for an update. I have no excuses now. 

I need to do this now, now more than ever. This week at work I have come to terms with aging, my back is starting to give out. I am going to do my best to stay in shape, take care of posture and most importantly make the most of my time. I have to be better at this. My job is a physical job with heavy lifting that I can't do for more than a year or two. I want to pursue my goals and my own ambitions, it is all that matters. And so I need to remind myself every day and night what I am meant to do, prove it to myself. I have no excuses.

I want to bring my characters, my stories, my worlds to life. 

That is all that is left. I don't know what else I am on this planet for if not bringing my vision to life. And maybe this will all be in vain and fall on deaf ears, but I won't know unless I try. And fail. And try again. And fail. And try again. Again. And again. Until I can't hold a pencil or type a word out, on my deaths bed. No excuses.

If I can do it my dear friend, so can you. 

Can you help me stay sharp? 

Thank you.

The 100

It’s minutes to midnight on a Sunday and I am on my way back home from shooting the latest episode of my challenge series with my brother, Toby. The idea is we just try to do something new every week, and it can be really anything from making clothes to eating the hottest wings in the city or even blind baking as we did tonight. And this is going to sound strange but I am not doing this for you or the views, mostly I am doing this because I want to have memories and moments I can look back at and enjoy. Don’t get me wrong though, if we entertain along the way and we get a crowd, that would be a nice bonus on the rewarding process of this series in general. 

My goal is get to 100 different videos. 

I mean wouldn’t that be something to look back on, 100 different challenges completed. And it’s not impossible, it’s hard and can be a challenge but certainly not impossible. A big reason to attempt this is because I want you to make and upload 100 videos, maybe cooking or baking or even walks in the park or coffee shops around your city. I want you to look and see how amazing your life is and to share that experience with others. There are a billion stories being told everyday, each unique and just as special as the next. 

I better wrap this up, I am back on the grind tomorrow morning! I just want to wish the best kind of energy for everyone starting the week, go get your goals and do the best work you can! I got Free Comic Book Day coming up this weekend in Orangeville and the RAW artist show on the 23rd & 24th this month. Thank you so much for the read and I hope to see you soon, until then keep chasing the storm!

1:49 AM

Ten minutes to 2:00 AM...

February 14th, Valentine's Day, go figure.

Listening to Tyler, The Creator's 2015 album Cherry Bomb. F*****G YOUNG.

So here I am trying to set up my new website over on Wix, and just coming to terms with how little I actually know, but that's why we learn. I have to figure this stuff out fast though, I need to start creating some products and artwork to actually sell and such. But also get the site going and looking as nice as I can, it will be my online portfolio after all, especially if I am trying to look for work and such.

PERFECT feat. Kali Uchis.

I have a lot of work ahead of me, and the worst thought is I am not going to see a dime from it until I finish and put it all out there. Don't know how long I am going to be able to the part timer work, the boredom is sin and it bugs me being away from the things I want to like practice my artwork, improve or learn a new skill and applying it to my own work. F**k this system.

SMUCKERS feat Kanye West & Lil Wayne.

This will all make sense in the end.

Another Storm...

You can try and try again a hundred times, you only quit once.

And with that said, I am back at it and writing again. How is it going internet? It's been awhile for sure but here we are again, trying to keep y'all up to date with all my ins and outs that are happening in my little slice of life on this planet. I think I will try to update more, but keep my posts a little bit shorter than some of my previous posts on this page. I want to be doing more and more in terms of art and comic books, so I will try to be posting here more often. There are also a ton of different comic book content that I would love to share with you, friends creating and some looking for funding on projects and they all deserve your attention and love. So let's help these creators out and make these dreams into reality! 

On my part, I am back in school this semester but I am also working away on my pages for Brewgatory. This has been an extremely big and ambitious project for me and I am learning just how much work is involved with making your own story and bringing it to life. But you know, I am so happy to be perusing this goal and there is nothing I want more than to make this comic book happen. I know it has taken me sometime and I thank you for those who have been anticipating this project, means the world to me, so thank you so much! 

Also I want to take this opportunity to talk about the awesome weekend that was Fan Expo 2018! Always great to see friends and colleagues in the Toronto comic book scene, so much talent and so much creativity! I am happy to be a part of it, truly a blessing. 

Thank you so much storm clouds, will be keeping in touch. Until then, keep chasing the Storm. ;) 

Back to the South...

A lot can come and go in a decade. Presidents and parties change power in a country, sports dynasty are made and conquered and technology can look radically different from the start to the finish of these ten years. So needless to say, it's going to be quite the experience when I return to Chile for a few weeks this August. It's been over ten years since I last set foot in South America, and I know I have a lot of reconnecting to do. I am a born Canadian, but I am also a Chilean at heart. My culture and my history is rooted deeply to Chile and all my family there, my last grandparents and my massive expansive Cruz side of the family. I will only have two weeks to make the most of the time there and take back home the knowledge and power that comes with being a Latino in North America. 

I am feeling pretty damn nervous though, not to mention thinking about all the things and projects I am currently working on and trying my best to finish as soon as possible. Not to mention, being away from work is going to place a dent in my wallet, so there is also that to be worried about. A vacation is nice, but it's hard to forget about all the responsibilities that need to be taken care of back home. Lately I find it hard to focus on today, always thinking about tomorrow and the future. I know as soon as I get back from Chile I am going to be focusing on a few goals...

• Finding more or new work.
• Working out every single day.
• Finishing up every single art project.
• Take care of the ChileanStorm brand.
• Getting ready for my trip to Japan.

I want to post these here, mostly for me to see them and to be held accountable if I f*ck this up and lose my place on the path in life. I am also placing this here to show you that I have my goals and you have yours as well, and you can do everything you set yourself out to do. If you need support and encouragement, know that I am rooting for you. It's not going to be easy, actually it's going to be extremely difficult. But if I can do it, so can you. 

YOU CAN DO IT!

So I am off to get ready for my Chile trip, I will be planning different locations that I am going to want to see while I am there, although I think I will mostly be in Santiago for most of the time. But if you've got any suggestion for where to go and what to see, by all means let me know in the comments below. As well as what are your goals in the future, what challenges will you be facing? Just want to let you know, you are not alone in this adventure. We can do this! Until then, keep chasing the Storm! 

I Am Retro

I think one day, we will all get to a point in our lives where everything we love will in one way or another become, retro. That is of course the nice way of saying old, the problem with old we associate to fragile, weak and ultimately death. But if Pokemon is the proof of anything it is that some old things never truly die. And now I am at that point in my life, I feel like I am looking back on any memories I can muster, and oddly enough scatter through my fandoms are precious memories of my younger years. I can tell you my first issue of Daredevil I ever bought in a dollar bin or the first Nintendo 64 game that me and my brother purchased on Boxing Day. It seems like a small moment in the massive ocean that is the galaxy of our own existence, but every tiny cell matters. And I think I am getting way better with my memory and if that is thanks to these kind of moments, I am not going to take that for granted at all. 

This past weekend, I turned 30. Welcome to retro,

I wanted to take the time to say thank you, to everyone who made not only this weekend an incredible time but to everyone who was there for me in some way or another. The truth is I wouldn't be who I am without all of you who have touched my life in some way or another.

To my family, everyone in Canada and Chile, you have all always been with me. To my mother, my greatest hero, the strongest person I know. A women who defined herself through love, compassion and kindness. If I can be half of what you are today, I know I've lived a good life. To my father, I missed you so much and these years getting to know each other have been absolutely wonderful. I hope to share more memories with you soon. To my sister, thank you for inspiring my creative mind from a young age, you are so damn talented and creative, you don't need anyone to approve of your talents. Keep creating beautiful art sis. To my brother, you know how much love you, I hated being away from you when we were kids and some days it's hard being oceans apart. But the fact is you have gone where you said you wanted to go, spoken the language you were never meant to speak. Nothing is impossible for you Fernando, and I wish I can show you what I am capable of as well. To my Grandparents as well in Chile, the humble little farm of Maipo, that safe place from my childhood. I know my Grandmother is always thinking about us, having all of us in her prayers and keeping us safe. To my Grandfather, such a kind and strong man, my role model growing up. I will be coming back to see you guys soon. To my uncles and aunts, cousins and nephews as well, I love you guys and not a day goes by where I don't think about you guys as well. And as well to family friends and partners to my parents, thank you for everything you have done for me, I wish I was a better kid some days but I am going to make sure I am a better man today. 

My dream come true...

Caitlin, my beautiful girlfriend. It's only been a year but it has been a wonderful year together, one that I will never forget. You are such a strong and independent women, as smart as you are absolutely talented at all the things you do from dance to guitar and songwriting. You inspire me every single day, to do as much as I can and more every single day. A kind spirit who knows how to love every single creature on this planet. And quick thank you to all the wonderful people I got to meet this year through you, family and friends who confirm to me all the incredible things that you are. And a big thank you to Bella Mae, yes she is a dog but doesn't make her love and energy any less. 

This is Bella, my "Woof Muffin".

My friends, my wonderful incredible strange family. From different times and places, all of you who keep me in your hearts, I can't thank you enough and you haven't seen the best of what I can do yet, so keep watching. But I did want to mention a few names for sure as well, those who have stayed close to me over these years. My roommate and brother, Toby. You are the best dude, the Rocket to my Groot or the Flounder to my Ariel. You've had to endure a lot of my silliness over the years but at the end of the day you've got a big heart inside. You are going to do some great things in this life, you hardworking little dude. To my big brothers, Aaron and Vince and as well as many incredible artist that I have the privilege to call friends; Paul, Kev, Shane, Hugh, Dave, etc. There is a lot but you guys know who you are and you know I love y'all. I wouldn't be half the artist that I am today if it wasn't for your guidance and friendship. Seeing my fellow artist create everyday keeps me inspired as well and makes me want to create more and more. To my fellow brothers, George, Drew and Steve. You guys are the absolute best, it's been an incredible journey so far and I can't wait to see where we all go from here. 

Yes there are many of you in my life and even if I didn't mention you personally, know that I love you and everything you've done for me. 

So yes, this is a big thank you blog, but if I have learned anything in my life it is that we need to be thankful for all of life's little moments and the beautiful people who make the world what it is today. I have seen my fare share of things in my life so far, and yet so little, this world is waiting to be explored. And so I just want to close with a last thank you to you, the reader. I hope you enjoyed this and past posts as well and keep coming back. Until then, keep chasing the storm.

Giveaway Ideas

Hey guys, Stormy here and I wanted to give y'all a heads up here on my giving away project that I was working on. Okay, so here is the deal. I've got a lot of things on the table to give away, a lot of comic books and DVD's and even a few CD's...if you kids want them. And knowing that many people will want them, I need to figure out how to spread the joy. Now you may or may not know, I've had a few tables at a few different comic book conventions and you may have noticed that I haven't been on the scene for sometime now. Well I am telling you this here and I am telling you this now, the ChileanStorm is coming back!

But what about that free stuff? Well here is the thing, you want some free stuff then you've got to come by my table and say hi, and I will have a box of free things there for everyone. I might have a little bin for loonies if you want to grab more stuff. I want to try to have everyone at least get one item, but if you see stuff you really really want, by all means let me know and you can take it home.

So there you have it, now you know to come check out my little art table for some free stuff and who knows maybe some new art prints or a cool new fresh comic from yours truly. I will let you know here where and when my next shows will be, so be sure to check out the page often and stay update with me over on my Twitter, @ChileanStorm and also on Instagram and Tumblr. Until then, keep chasing the Storm! 

Youth Impact Summit

So big news to share with everyone, tomorrow and Thursday I will taking part of the Youth Impact Summit. What is that you may ask, well let me tell you; a collection of young minds from across the province coming together to brainstorm, hear, talk about ideas to change communities. And yours truly applied a few times in the past and now I have the opportunity to take part of this big game changing opportunity. For a few years I've wanted to see what I could do to help out those who need help, be that volunteering at charity events or donate clothing or food. And now I can learn how to take that energy to the next level, and I am super excited for this experience.

For those reading for the first time, welcome! My name is Alvaro Cruz, or as I go by on most forms of social media, ChileanStorm. I was born in Toronto, but my family history hails from Chile, so I like to represent for Chile and all of Latin America, very proud of my roots and culture. I am an artist who is currently back in school and working part time as a barista. At the end of the day, I still need to pay my bills. I am currently working on a few personal projects like the Glass Prison and currently working on my first comic book, Brewgatory. My goal is to have a comic ready for summer 2017.

In this page here you will find a lot of entries on comic books that I've read and few opinion pieces as well. In the future entries I will probably talk more about things on my mind, the most important Nicolas Cage films and Nintendo 64 games. So if you like any of these things or just want a fun read, by all means give me a read and a follow and be sure to drop a comment if you'd like as well. 

You have to be able to laugh at yourself as well. 

Keep chasing the storm. 

What Happened?

Disclaimer, today I am writing about what I am going through, it's a bit of a downer but I pick it up. I just want to say that I am fine now, while I have depression, I am still going to do my best to keep it all together. And a big thanks to my best friend, Toby, for being there when I needed someone to talk to. I couldn't do it without you. 

So last Monday, I had a mental breakdown. I was going to kill myself. 

I am not writing this for pity or comfort, I am writing this to make sense of it and to try and understand myself a little bit more. I have a mental illness, call it depression or anxiety, I have it. And yes, this is an obstacle in my life right now, but I know I am not alone, so many of us today are suffering and maybe we are suffering in silence. I don't think I can be silent about this, I am an artist/blogger who is posting his work to the world, and I can't pretend that I am not going through a lot when I am, I can't pretend that I am perfectly fine ignoring the crisis in my head and the problems out in the world. I can't be in blissful ignorance. This world is built on the back of others, it is a take more and give less kind of mentality. My biggest problem right now, is money and the lack of funds in my bank account. And yes I am looking for a full time job, another part time job and anything else I can do to make money. But here is a great and I mean a great misconception, that you can apply to a job and you just get it, that it takes mere minutes. For the greatest necessity on this planet, it sure is one hell of a struggle just to get a job. So if you are one of those sitting on your laurels, comfortable at your job and looking down on those who don't have a job or aren't paid to blow smoke up someone's ass, well f*ck you. I don't think there are any other words for that kind of person. The system is broken and we have created a world were you will be judged on how much money you do or don't make. 

Oh but money isn't everything, right? Sure, that's cute. 

As much as we want to believe in that, it isn't the case. We don't take care of one and other, we take care of ourselves and our families, an extension of us and even then some people skip that. Everything we need and everything we want, it all comes back to money. Even the essentials like shelter, water, heat and food; this is all tied to how much you have. We have created our own prison, and no one is fighting it. We are convinced that we can beat the system. And here is the thing, you don't beat the system, you just get into the pearly gates. Say you make it, as an artist or a banker, you aren't going to look back when you finally reach the top of the mountain. And don't get me wrong, there are people out there who break the mold and help out by giving everything they can and more, and you know these are people who should be applauded and celebrated. But the majority of us in this ever growing population, we can't say the same. After working, paying your taxes and taking care of all the costs, you just want to focus on you and take care of you. But can anyone be blamed for that? I don't think it's fair to say.

Because for me, I want money to have more freedom. I want to have my own place, my own fridge, my own workplace. This is all for me. So while I go off about having to help one and other, as soon as I am making 40 hours of work, I am going to be taking care of me. Yeah, in a way you could say I am full of shit. But here is the thing, I want to make a difference. I want to help out in any way I can, and one of the ways is by looking at depression in the eye and telling it go away. By telling and drawing a story, not about flawless heroes, but about the realities and struggles that a lot of us go through, by letting that lonely kid know he is not alone. I want to tell stories, I want to open eyes and open minds, I am going to do that through my craft. This doesn't make me any better or worse, but in the words of the great punk icon, Ian Mackaye...

You tell me that I make no difference

At least I'm fuckin' trying

What the fuck have you done?

No matter what happens, I have to try. And I am probably going to feel trapped again, I am probably going to feel like I am drowning next month, but I have to fight, more importantly I have to live. I will be going to a doctor as well, I need to clean out any demons that might still be inside my head. I want to live and I want to make a difference. And I want others with depression or anxiety to be able to know, that we can make it, no matter what, we can make it. 

I hope someone gets to read this, if you do read this, let me know. Tell me what you fear, your doubts and more importantly what you want to do to make the world a greater place. How do you deal with your demons? I don't want to be a downer, I think there is a lot of beauty and joy in the world, and we should never forget that. Life is here to be enjoyed, regardless of the challenges we face. Onwards, keep chasing the storm.

Editorial: An Old Fool...

Well, it finally happened. That moment where I stopped and said, "shit, I am old". So I was enjoy a quite Friday afternoon, drinking a coffee at my local Starbucks and drawing in my sketchbook. When around a certain time after 3 PM, I noticed a lot of high school kids coming into the cafe. Loud and noisy bunch, even with my headphones on, I began to notice more and more things that were bugging me. I noticed, hey, they haven't bought a coffee or even a bagel, 20 damn kids and not one of them bought something. Keep in mind, where I live by Royal York and Bloor is a pretty classy neighbourhood and none of these kids looked underprivileged. Then I noticed all of them going to the bathroom, together, and drinking booze in the bathroom. I just thought, shouldn't you kids be doing something useful with your life? Homework? Studying? It was embarrassing to see 16 year old kids stumble drunkly out of the bathroom. I thought, shit, we are a world at war here and all you kids can think of is drinking in a bathroom and trying to get your dicks wet?! And then I really thought hard, what about you? Don't you remember when you were that age? I wasn't on the honour roll. I wasn't a good kid, but that's not to say I was a bad kid by any stretch. I was troubled, I think. I am not sure. To my readers, I must confess, I don't have a good memory. I remember big moments, events and times, but details and little things, I tend to forget. I want to remember more, I want to know what kind of blocks I was laying down, the blocks that became me. I think sometimes, maybe I hurt people, maybe I wasn't as good as I thought I was, and maybe I have a life ahead of me to make up for all my mistakes. But that's what got me thinking about those kids, and what could I do to help.

I think it's easy for all of us to judge. We do it all the time, all of us, in some way or form we are constantly judging the world around us. And let's be honest, because f*ck me if I feel that we can all be way more honest with one and other, even if it hurts. I think of how little time we all have and man, I get scared, I worry on how dishonest we can be.  And hell, I get shit from my family from this a lot, and you know I can admit sometimes I may come off as an asshole, but I don't want to sugar coat things. Am I worried about my finances? Absolutely, I fear Visa is going to send a hitman and murder me. Do I need to find another job or more work? Yes, yes I do and that may involve working overnight to pay off my debts and to be able to look into getting my own place. Do I feel alone sometimes? More like most of the time, I just can't see a future with someone in my life. I hate my body, I want to work out. I want to be a better artist, I want to see more of the world and I seriously want the Toronto Maple Leafs to win the Stanley Cup before I kick the bucket. This is me just being as open as I can be without me showing my browsing history. I am saying all this because I know that I can do more for the present and for the future, regardless of my past. 

I feel a bit like both of these characters.

I know people and programs in this city that are doing and trying to do a lot of good, especially with the youth of today. And knowing that, I know what I need to do next. I want to do something for the youth, I want to help out, make a difference. And why not? What I wouldn't do to go back in time and tell my younger self to focus, to pay attention to the big picture, to realize how much more your worth. I am no saint and I don't think I am trying to be, have you seen how many times I used "I" in this blog alone, it's extremely self help in a way. At the end of the day, we all have the ability to make a difference and to be a difference, we can be pretentious or self righteous, we can tell our selves that we are always doing good and can do no wrong. Or we can just open the door, and go outside. The world is out there, we have to give a chance.

So I guess to close this off, I wanted to apologize about being a grumpy old man. It's so easy to complain and point out the flaws in others, but I think taking the step back and looking at your own imperfections, looking at what you can do to make the world a better place, that's the first step. I am not sure what I am going to leave behind in this world, but I am going to try and leave something worth talking about, something that can inspire courage and compassion to love without question. Okay, the sap is dry from this maple tree, I will see you guys later, thank you for reading and remember to keep chasing the storm. 

Diary of Glass: Entry 6

I finally got around to scanning the pages for issue 0, taken me much longer then I thought it would. Then again working on this book alone, it has taken me longer in general. I never accounted for life, work and all the other little things in between. But finally scanning the pages, I can start to clean them up on Photoshop and get to lettering as well, all the steps until I get it done and send it out there. And I mean that in of itself is going to be a new learning process for me, so I am learning and working as I go on this, I just hope it can still be a good presentable product. The thing is, looking through the pages I realize, and I will consider this especially moving forward, I need to work on panelling better. Maybe I am being critical or picky here, but while I like how each page looks on it's own, I don't think there's a good flow in general. But live and learn, I need to pay more attention to all these different elements, I mean especially considering the amount of comics I read and analyse.  

So since I did get a chance to scan the pages and all, let's take a look at one of the pages that will be in Glass Prison #0. Consider this like a backstage pass into the making of Glass Prison, a commentary of sorts, except your reading, so sound excited or something like that. I am not sure if I have a good voice for commentary of sorts or anything like that.

So first up, this is a straight up scan, I didn't clean it up at all. The raw presentation of it all, from pencils to inks. With this page, it plays with the idea of Jason, the main subject of the story, going in and out of reality and the nightmare world of his own sub concious.One thing I want to play with as an artist and as a story teller is distortion, warping the world and the characters around however I see fit. Playing with limbs and the faces is a lot of fun and through the shapes I am looking to present different elements to the panels and pages. In time I want to master the idea of distorting even the panels, melting them or as you see here, broken glass panels, telling the story of a broken man. The idea here is having Jason hold his hand for help, as if he was drowning and needed a hand to save his life. The only thing he gets is another bottle of nameless beer, another drink. The other hands reaching out are the "warden" demons, I wanted to have it seem like they are the ones getting Jason a new bottle to refresh his addiction. A few the hands stand out a bit better than some of the others, I need to make sure to flesh out all the little details on these monsters, especially considering how important they are to the story. In the last panel, I wanted to have Jason look pissed off, his anger at his own weakness and inability to quit, to be able to be free. In the story, the alcohol and drugs play out as the walls to Jason's prison. I know that Jason wants to be free, he wants to clean up his life. But at this point in the story and early on, he needs to honestly look at his life and be ready to face his past if he wants any chance at a future. He wants someone to save him, but he is unable to take it upon his own to do anything. I need to work on my backgrounds more, especially on the top panels, I couldn't think of an appropriate background, so I decided to leave it alone for now. 

So, what do you think?

Please let me know, any kind of comment or suggestion, I am all ears. As a new comic book artist and storyteller, I need to listen as much as possible. So let me know what you think, I need all the help I can get. And hopefully you are enjoying this process as well, I want to try and update every week and as I am going I am trying to write up five blogs per week, staying up late and drinking a lot more coffee. Be sure to check out the previous entries in my Diary of Glass series, you can see how I wanted to rush this out and how I decided to just do a good job and see the process along the way. Thank you again for reading and until next time, keep chasing the storm. 

Diary of Glass: Entry 5

It's been a long time since I've been able to talk about anything related to my pet project, Glass Prison. I was working away on both issue zero and issue one, then life happened and it took a back seat to practically everything else, which was my fuck up. I want to blame this on having a lot of different birthday celebrations  and picking up more hours at work, lord knows Visa is still looking to murder me (I think), but the cold truth of it all, it's on me. I haven't found the time to sit down and finish it up, but issue zero is practically finished, I just have to but some finishing touches to it and send over to the scanners. At which point I still need to clean it up on Photoshop, letter it and put it all together. But God damn it, this is a lot of work! And look I am going to slay this fucker one way or another, this book will happen, but the reality is I am an out of shape guy who gets home drained from his job after 8 hours of service and cleaning. And I still got tons and tons of things I need to learn as an artist and as a comic creator, I still look at my work and think and know I could have done things differently, better. And I still got to draw out issue one, which I need to get more paper and actually I might have to remove a page, I may have written 25 pages for this 24 page comic. So plenty to do, and I think I know what I want to do to improve these current problems...

One, me and my brother are going to sign up for a gym. We figure it's a good time to meet up and work together, he is already in shape though, me, I've got a gut to slay and roll out some rolls. That's the reality of things, and not to mention you can get pretty inactive sometimes in the winter, so best work it off. But it's also something I want to add to my daily routine, after or before work, something to keep me going with stronger energy. And then by the summer time, all the selfies! Maybe. Most likely. I apologize now in advance. 

Two, I need that drafting table and a good chair for work. My current set up right now has my computer and whole bunch of other things, mainly different collectible blind bag figures. Coolest one being...hmmm...I've got to give that to the Mega Man helmet (Red variant)that I got from Loot Crate. But yeah, while this spot is great for digital work and for blogging, I need to make space for a work table, a place I can go to and attack any project I got. That and I want a board to see what I have to finish and all that jazz, organize myself to a greater scale. I want to be an artist, I got to start taking this shit more seriously. With this work space, I can also study more techniques and practice more and more.

But there you have it, that is what is going on with me so far and the Glass Prison. I have not forgotten this project and I will not stop until this done and finished, this is something I have to do, come hell or high water, I need to do this. And thing is, here in Toronto, we got guys doing some absolutely incredible work, a lot of guys who I want to be to hang with, to be able to say that I am part of that collective. Because now, I can't say much to my name, I am invisible as far as the world of comics is concerned. I want to change, I want to be known and I want to tell my stories. So if you've been following me and my work so far, a big big thank you to you and continue to do so you incredible wonderful person, thank you! Until then, will see what I get done when the next update rolls around, which I am going to try and make sure is once per week. So until then, keep chasing the storm! 

Diary of Glass: Entry 4

If I ever leave one piece of me on this planet, one nugget of wisdom, it is this...

"I am not crazy, I am just lonely."

Something I found out this week, officially. Been feeling out of my skin for a few months, like what I am doing and where am I going and who is going with me. A lot of questions, basically going out of my mind for the most part, which sucks, not a good place to be in. If you've follow me on Twitter, you may have seen some late night rants, tweets about my own fears and insecurities, which are there and trust me they are real. There's so much that just doesn't make sense to me, and I need some answers, I need something or someone to make it all make sense. I think we all do. This project, this blog as well, it has helped me in trying to make sense of all this insanity within my head. But according to my doctor, this happens to artist, this is a challenge. I mean this is the thing that will make me or well it will break me. 

The Glass Prison while being a very personal project, it is also the only thing I ever wanted to do. Tell stories and create worlds and characters, bring them all to life and share it with millions and millions of different people across the globe. I want to create for a living, I want to make comics, I want to bring them to life on movie theatres or video games. I want to be an empire, I want to make money, I want to be known. There are no other options for me, this is all I know how to do and it's what I love. And sure, you can look at this and call me out for being too ambitious, head in the clouds, aiming high or just not realistic, but why settle for less? Why tell yourself that it's not possible? I want this and I am going to get it, come hell or high water. 

That being said, all of this process, the creating and the hours of work, it gets lonely here. 

And that's just the way it is, atleast for me and a lot of other creators, except those lucky ones who have found a partner, hold on to them tight. Anyone who is willing to put up with a creator or an artist is an absolute gem of a person and should be praised. I look at myself and I see a guy who is impossible. I am a 27 year old, Pansexual, male who is out of shape and looks like he hasn't slept in days, spends most of his free time in art, creating worlds of demons and stories of mental disorder, a super geek who loves to collect comic books and video games but is also a big fan of hockey and wrestling, a passionate fan of music in general and has an appreciation for fashion. On paper, I don't make any sense, by all laws I shouldn't even exist. So how the hell can I expect anyone to understand that? Maybe I can't, maybe I am not meant to. For everything that I want to be, maybe being a father or a husband or even a boyfriend, just isn't in the stars for me. But one thing I have been many a times is wrong.

Tomorrow, this could all change. I don't know what tomorrow brings, tomorrow could be the start of a new story, of a new adventure and of a new meeting. For all I know, tomorrow could be the day I find Mrs or Mr Right. And you know what, maybe they're just a strange as me on paper or even stranger. Anything is possible, and that is the most exciting thing about tomorrow, that anything is possible. 

So while this will be the hardest, most difficult month of my life, I am ready for it. I know I can do this, I know I am not alone, because I feel the love, friendship and guidance from all my friends and family. This book would be impossible without all of you, and I love you all for it. 

So do the impossible as well and I will see you at the top, keep chasing the storm. 

Diary of Glass: Entry 2

Big news everybody! (Always wanted to open a blog like that)

So just this past weekend I was able to put the last finishing touches on my first small comic book project, Part-Timer. The project was from the 12 hour comic book challenge back in the Spring, and was something I've been meaning to finish off for sometime now. My hats off to any comic book creators who can pull off the challenge, like Shane Heron and Ricky Lima, who created their sci-fi adventure from this challenge, Black Hole Hunters Club. Great stuff guys! And if you guys have yet to read these books, go here right now and give them a follow. But yeah, I finally finished my little 12 page book. And with that finished, it will be part of the zero issue which I am going to try and finish for Glass Prison, so fans and curious people can get a sneak peak of what to expect from this nightmarish journey. 

So Part-Timer as the name goes is about a part time worker. We follow this nameless dude through out his day, and you get to see how he goes about it. In each page we see what small daily task he is doing at work, and the extreme measure he wants to take to escape them. I don't want to give away any more, but if you have worked a part time job before, then you could probably relate in some way or another. Although the character is also very drastic, you are most likely not as exaggerated. 

So yeah, that's one for the books, onto the next 8 pages and one mighty cover. And all this to be done by next week. Draw, ink, letter and print. Time to make a f*cking comic. Come on Storm Clouds, time to kick some ass! 

Reblog, post and all that other good stuff and of course, keep chasing the storm. 

Diary of Glass: Entry 1

Remember back when, I said I wanted to make a comic book. Well welcome to today, I am doing it and it is going to happen, and while this may be the most personal and time given project I will be working on, I know still that it is going to be rough and flawed, I know this, but the one thing I need to do as an artist and a storyteller is do it, I need to do it and keep going. So with that I am proud to say, that on November 26 2014, I, ChileanStorm will be releasing at retails here in the GTA and page by page on the weekly web-comic site, The Sequentials, a trip into the broken mind of the Glass Prison! This was the first project I wanted to do since joining the comic book artist community here in Toronto, and I feel like the need to release this project instead of being just another fan artist is essential to my future, I want to do this for a living, I want to be known as a storyteller and an artist. And so, I wanted to do start writing up my daily progress of each day as I work away to the deadline, so you can follow my progress and share thoughts and opinions as well. This will be a long ride and it will take some long hours to finish what I've started here, but for me there are no other roads left, time to start running.

I will give you guys a little synopsis on what the Glass Prison is all about for today's entry...

For those of you who are progressive metal fans, you may have noticed that this book shares the same name as the title track of Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence from legendary band, Dream Theatre. Give yourself a bonus star point, you would be absolutely correct. The song itself, an incredible musical journey based off Mike Portnoy's rehabilitation from alcohol abuse, it's the first three of the twelve step program. As far as music goes, absolutely brilliant! By far my favourite track from this incredible band, the thought that goes on behind the words of the lyrics to every rift and note is mind blowing, absolutely perfect execution. As far as music goes, I can honestly say Dream Theatre is near untouchable as masters of their craft. So needless to say this was just one piece to my idea...

The other element is more out of tragedy. A few years back, a distant friend, Kyle Miller, passed away. For many years Kyle had an extreme problem with addiction, drugs and alcohol. By the time of his passing, I had lost touch and contact, a lot of us did. I was angry at him, upset, I never could understand why he couldn't save himself, I felt that since I was able to put those vices behind in my own life, that he would be able as well. But we had very different lives, while both poor financially the one thing I had was always a lot of love at home. I need to pay a tribute to him, I need to tell a story about him in some way shape or form, I need to forgive him and myself for our mistakes. 

So taking the song, Kyle and the elements of my own mind, I created Glass Prison. The story that centres around a young recovering addict, Jason, who is trying to regain control of his life. Unfortunately for our hero, he is haunted by many of his inner demons that nightly take him down to the dark corners of his mind, down to the glass prison. And what happens when the dream is real, when you can't wake up from the nightmare, when you can't escape the prison. Jason will have to travel the dark hallways of his twisted psych and find an escape if he ever wants to see the light of day and the chance of hope ever again. 

So that's the plot. What do you think? Is this something you would like to see and read? Interested at all? Well let me know on the comments below or on Twitter (@ChileanStorm) and we can go on about the progress of my project. But now that you know the plot, be sure to come back and check often on the progress of the Glass Prison. A lot to do in the next days and weeks and a lot of ground to cover, but will be on this journey together. Be sure to also follow the #GlassPrison on all social media forms, I will be doing my best to update as much as possible, until then, keep chasing the storm. 

Right White Night...

So I think I am a bit surprised when things that should happen, actually happen. Like when the TTC (our not so reliable transit service here in Toronto) is on time with the buses and trains, the extra time on my hands is always welcomed. So I was a bit surprised to find out that this years Nuit Blanche is moving to some bigger streets in the city, instead of going down Yonge and Bay. I am pretty sure I've complained here on the self destruction of Nuit Blanche, and the big reason was how bat shit crazy crowded it got. But with the change to Spadina all the way down to Fort York, this may have a chance at redemption. Or not. I've been wrong before, I am a Maple Leafs fan. But I bring this up, because I have so very cool announcements to make that are going to be taking place on Nuit Blanche, so Toronto storm clouds listen up and be sure to share this post around...

So what to do on an all nighter that is dedicated to the arts? More art that's what! And by that I mean random sketches, all night long and to anyone and everyone. This is something I am going to be doing with my fellow brothers from other mothers, to take in the night and share something with the city. We will be tweeting our different locations all night long and we will be posting up all images on Instagram as the night goes on and on and on. So come find the ChileanStorm, Tea Em, Maddsketch, Pepper Pots and other friends through out the night! Get some cool sketches and other possible cool stuff as well. The night is young and it will be ours! 

So let's art people! Art! Art for freedom! 

The other event will be taking place at Guerilla Printing, over at 413 Spadina Ave, right by College street. So in celebration of the all night event, GP is going to have not only on display a ton of incredible art on the walls from Vince Sunico (man of action) and Lamin Martin, but there will also be live music as well from the Toronto women kulintang ensemble, Pantayo. And as well, Vince will be doing a live art piece based on Grendizer! So classic anime fans, don't miss this spot on Nuit Blanche! The event will get going at around 9 PM on Saturday, so be sure to check it out! 

So now you know guys, Nuit Blanche just got 50% cooler! Be sure to get some coffee or energy drinks in you, because it is going to be a long night of fun, art and surprises! Remember to dress for the weather and be ready for anything. I may see some you guys out there this weekend, so until then keep chasing the storm! 

Let's Riot!

So it goes without saying, it was a riot! An incredible day with amazing performances by some of my favourite bands, incredible food and great company, thanks to my best bro, Toby! I haven't been to show like this, let alone a concert in ages, so this was pretty awesome. I also got to see for the first time, Death Cab for Cutie, one of my favourite bands which I had not seen live, so that feels good to mark off my list. Although I would definitely go see them again, an hour set list isn't enough for me. I loved Tokyo Police Club, Metric and City & Colour performances, it shows a great strength in the current Canadian music scene. To any readers out of Canada, check these guys out for sure, some great music to be found here.

I could try and describe my day for you guys, but as they say a picture is worth a thousand words...

It's been a long day but it was well worth it, ready to take on this week ahead at full force. Rock on Storm Clouds and keep chasing the storm!